She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
