there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
