i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
