how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
