i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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