oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
