Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
