what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
