So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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