Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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