found the other keg... it's in the tree
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is her dick bigger than yours?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize