Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
