I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
