i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just found a bag of teeth...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
