You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sobbing to NWA
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
