its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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