Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
