I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
