Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
