I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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