You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
