if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
