Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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