you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
