i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
