um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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