dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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