Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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