Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
