Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
