when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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