So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
