your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
