p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
