i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
