im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Randomize
