If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
