Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
