Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
