so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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