Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
