He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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