he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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