i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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