Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You pole danced in your parka.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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