it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
