so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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