Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
