Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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