Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
