Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize