Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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