I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
