none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
