Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
