So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
