OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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