Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
