I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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