id be glad to
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
